My Thai Wife
Are you intrested in Thailand and the thai culture?
Are you a frequent vistior to Pattaya and phuket?
Do you want to hear intresting sexy stories about those places?
Or maybe you are looking to hear dating and travel advices?
Do you have intrest in Ladyboys or what is it like being with one?
You Came To The Right Podcast!!
Join Pim and Mike while they discuss all those things, and much more!!!
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My Thai Wife
Finding Connection Beyond Language: Sex, Love, Relationships and BDSM in Pattaya with Greg the Digital Nomad
What does it mean to form genuine connections in a country known for its sex tourism? In this candid conversation, we're joined by Greg, an American digital nomad who has spent six years traversing Asia across 34 countries. Far from the typical "sexpat" narrative, Greg offers a nuanced perspective on finding meaningful relationships in Thailand—whether with women or Ladyboys in a culture where many assume foreign men are only seeking sexual transactions.
The conversation takes us through unexpected terrain as Greg shares his experience dating a Thai teacher outside the bar scene, navigating the complexities of cross-cultural communication, and discovering Thailand's vibrant BDSM community. He explains how consent, boundaries, and communication work within these relationships, while debunking myths about what dominance and submission truly entail. For anyone curious about alternative lifestyles in Southeast Asia, this segment provides a rare glimpse into communities that thrive beyond the tourist zones.
We also tackle practical aspects of the expat lifestyle, from visa run strategies to finding authentic connections despite language barriers. Greg's perspective challenges the notion that deep verbal communication is essential for meaningful relationships, suggesting that connections can form through shared experiences even when words fail. Whether you're considering life as a digital nomad in Thailand or simply curious about cross-cultural relationships, this episode offers both practical wisdom and philosophical insights about what it means to connect authentically across cultural divides.
Are you living abroad or considering it? We'd love to hear your experiences forming relationships across cultural and language barriers. Message us directly on Spotify or email mythaiwifepod@gmail.com with your thoughts and questions.
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Thank you for listening and enjoying with us!!!
Hello everyone and welcome back to my Thai Wife Podcast. I'm Mike and I'm still doing it without my lovely, lovely wife Sonali.
Speaker 2:Hi everyone, good to see you again. Welcome back to my Thai Wife Podcast.
Speaker 1:Good, you remember this. Yeah, I do this is Bim, by the way. You know her already. How are you doing, Bim?
Speaker 2:I'm doing good, mike. How about you? I'm okay, I'm always okay. How about you?
Speaker 1:I'm okay, I'm always okay, Like right in the middle you know, yeah, today's simple eh, and we got a guest today. His name is Greg. Yeah, not a guest.
Speaker 3:I mean it depends. You know it's a high esteem regard. I would say Okay.
Speaker 1:A guy I know that's better, yeah, I would say Okay. A guy I know that's better, yeah, let's stick with that. Greg is from the US, as you heard in his accent, obviously.
Speaker 3:Is it that obvious when?
Speaker 1:are you from Atlanta, georgia, atlanta, okay, and how long have you been in Asia in general?
Speaker 3:I started in 2018, went back for about a year and a half over COVID, so overall six years, give or take the COVID years.
Speaker 1:Okay, and you told me already, but how many countries you visited in here in Asia?
Speaker 3:Overall I'm at 34 countries, including Europe, the Americas, africa and Asia. Total it's mostly China and Southeast Asia, with random Middle Eastern countries thrown in there.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:Which one I was in? Qatar and Syria, syria, there was a layover and I was able to get in there for about 10 hours.
Speaker 4:Same thing, with.
Speaker 3:Qatar. I was a layover. I was able to get in there for about 20 hours Ice times. I mean no no, I was there.
Speaker 1:You know you hide the nose, it's fine yeah, I get that, and eventually you find yourself in thailand, right?
Speaker 3:yeah, this is, uh, my third longish terms day. I was here for eight months, uh, from 2019 to 2020. After I was here for eight months from 2019 to 2020. After COVID, I was here for over a year and now I'm back. Now this is my second month being back, after going home for a couple months over the holidays, because I haven't been home in about three years.
Speaker 1:And you normally always stay in Pattaya or you travel around.
Speaker 3:No, most of the time I was actually in Bangkok. This is the first time staying longish term in Pattaya, Because mostly I was teaching in and around Bangkok Okay great.
Speaker 4:So what's the reason?
Speaker 2:why I mean what's the reason? In your opinion? Yeah, what's the first reason to come to travel in Thailand?
Speaker 1:Uh, do you mean, like, what is the reason he left his home?
Speaker 4:Yeah okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like that yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, the uh. The main reason was to get out and travel. I'm a huge traveler, obviously, with seeing 34 countries, um. The Second reason was uh, was I love the beach? Third reason was if I work for either a Thai company getting paid to teach here or if I work for Western companies, the conversion rate's a lot better than it is in the US and I don't have to share a roommate if I don't want to. And then, specifically Thailand, not to mention the beach and the cheapness, but also the trans women as well, the much more open community than a lot of other countries. Yeah, but I guess the US is kind of open right now. Open in that there are a lot of people there, but still kind of there's still a big stigma.
Speaker 3:I would say especially in the treating them like a fetish or a sexual kink than anything else. For instance, I did date a trans woman in the US for about six months back when I was 26 years old and I'm now 37. But it's very hard to go on actual dates with trans women in the US. Why is that? Because a lot of them just think we want them to have sex.
Speaker 1:Oh, not because of that If other people will see you with them, they will say something no, no.
Speaker 3:Like they think men just want them for sex. Yeah, like they just see them as a sexual object. They only see them as a fetish. Okay so, and sometimes it's difficult to convince anyone of something that they have a preconceived notion about, have a preconceived notion about and you know, and if you have, if 10, 20, 30 experiences tell you, otherwise it's difficult to believe.
Speaker 1:The 31st experience or the 32nd experience, of course, but I think when people that come to Thailand also look at the ladyboys as a fetish Not all of them them, but some of them. I've seen guys go to bars. Pay the ladyboy the bar fine, pay her the money, go to the room and right after they finish well, fucking, they just ran out of the bar yeah, that is like I said.
Speaker 3:It's a huge stigma in the community it does. Obviously there is a benefit to the trans community in Thailand for that, because there's hopefully a financial incentive that works for them. But I'm sure they would appreciate the other side of the coin, where more men were actually interested in forming relationships of the coin, where more men were actually interested in forming relationships, forming actual bonds and connections that weren't just a financial, transactional, sexual connection.
Speaker 1:I agree and disagree with you, and let me tell you why. Because most of the guys that meet ladyboys meet them at the sex industries areas here in Thailand and already, if they want to get into a relationship with a ladyboy, the ladyboy will ask some help me financially. Right, you don't want me to walk in the bar? No problem, give me X amount of money you want me to go back home.
Speaker 2:Give me X amount of money.
Speaker 3:That is not only for ladyboys, it's like ladies also, I would say that's more of a culture thing than anything.
Speaker 1:No, but I don't know many guys that met Ladyboys here in a normal setup. When I say normal, you just yeah, but you are one of the few right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think it also is where you're meeting them. If you're going to bars where they're half-naked, then the assumption is that's what you're looking for. You can't be meeting trans women on Grindr or on Tinder or at a random hookup bar and expect to be like, hey, let's go on a real date and let's have an actual romantic connection. There are real dating apps to meet people. There are real places out in the wild to meet them. Like dating I'm part of a.
Speaker 1:It sounds like a Pokemon, yeah, well, there's an.
Speaker 3:LGBTQ group in Bangkok that I'm a part of that. I've met trans women through there who have real jobs, quote-unquote real jobs that look for actual connections and relationships. And yeah, obviously it's not like just flipping a turning light, switch on and there you find a bunch of normal guys who want a normal relationship. It's still you're going to deal with the you can curse on here, right? Yeah, you're still going to meet the whole asshole guy who will tell him that, hey, yeah, I want to do this and this and this, and then you have sex a couple times and then, okay, let me slowly walk away it's like a.
Speaker 4:It's like a situation on like what has happened on on the first time they meet.
Speaker 2:It's like a situation and conversation after that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, everything is it yeah, it is, but, as you said, like most of those girls have experienced the sex on girls the time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, right, and I think even the girls that work normal jobs, most of the people that they meet that are interested in them, probably are yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean realistically, the percentage of men who are coming here to have sex with trans versus the men who are looking to have relationships with trans is 10 to 1. Or even higher.
Speaker 4:It's even higher than that yeah. Well, higher, yeah Because 20 sex guys versus one relationship guy, 20 sex guys versus one relationship guy.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, so, finding and finding that trans woman who actually believes that you want that relationship, um, versus the. The ones who you know are just uh, who just you know uh, use, use you for what they can get from you, which more power to them. Uh, if you're at the guy's going to use them for the sex, they should use the man for the stuff their financial benefit as long as well, even if you're not being honest about it. People lie about the crap all the time, no matter what country you're in.
Speaker 1:You said that you have met trans women in Thailand in normal situations. Right yeah, I dated one in 2019 for about five months.
Speaker 3:How was that? It was great. I met her at a school. Actually, she was a teacher, she was. It was About. It was actually the first job I had in Thailand. It was about 45 minutes the other way of Rayong, yeah, around that area, yeah. So so I was in a very small area of school and I was like it was like 10 minutes from the beach. So I was like perfect. And there was a small school over there. I met her. Her name was Jane and we dated for about five months while I was teaching there. And how was that, yeah, it was great.
Speaker 3:We had a great connection. We were able to go out, have fun. We came to Pattaya a couple times, went to Koh Samet. Yeah, it was really fun for the five months we were together and there was no financial part of it involved.
Speaker 1:No, we never Did you support her in any way?
Speaker 3:No, I mean for the most part she did stay with me because my place was bigger than hers. I'm an American teacher in Thailand, so I paid more than a Thai teacher, unfortunately. But well, fortunately for me and unfortunately for them. But you think it's double right?
Speaker 1:teacher. Yeah, unfortunately, uh, but uh, well, fortunately for me, unfortunately for them.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but, um, right, oh, yeah, I can, I can somehow get triple, depending on the school. Um, just because, again, because my uh, because of my experience and everything, uh, so I can, I can demand a little bit more, okay, um, also depending on, uh, their experience as well. Yeah, yeah, like you, I would. I would say I'm probably equivalent to a teacher who's been there 15, 20 years. A Thai teacher has been there 15, 20 years.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 3:Between 10 and 20. Yeah, so the salaries can be quite an astronomical difference. Okay, yeah, so she stayed with me and I would. I would pay a lot of stuff just because, like you know, you wanted to be a gentleman. Yeah, be a gentleman. We're going out having fun again. I make more, but no, there was never any. Like hey, can I get five thousand for my mom's mysterious procedure or something that you hear from a lot of people? Or you know, there was a tornado that ripped through our ancestral home, and can you give me 10 to pay?
Speaker 1:have you seen the thing of on social media that some thai lady here like rented a place and made it look like a hospital and then people would pay her money in order to send pictures to the boyfriend?
Speaker 3:that you saw, that I haven't seen seen it, but I know they're. Yeah, it's a scam going around the world. Yeah.
Speaker 1:She rented it. A picture would cost about 1,000 baht or something like that, and then they would just send it to their boyfriend that currently are not in Thailand. Oh, I'm in the hospital. I got hit by a truck or whatever. Send me money.
Speaker 2:Oh really, yeah, it was here in Pattaya. I never heard of that. I'm sorry, I'm not a person I'll like follow the news, but, yes, this is like oh, is this how they did?
Speaker 1:she, so she rented a store right yeah and she made the store look like a hospital room, ah, and had a hospital bed and the hospital well, fake hospital equipment.
Speaker 3:The gowns, and the girls would just lay there on the bed looking sick. Take off the makeup.
Speaker 2:Make it my story.
Speaker 1:They would just send those pictures to the boyfriend. The boyfriend would call there would be someone dressed as a doctor, blah, blah, blah, and they would get the money. It's so weird, it's not?
Speaker 3:weird, it's genius, no, I mean it's a great business plan for the Taiwan. The problem is there are men who will fall for that and, to be to be honest, I do not have sympathy for them. If you're going to send money to someone you've never met, that's on you.
Speaker 1:It's their boyfriends right, but right now they are not here.
Speaker 3:They went back, but how?
Speaker 1:what is?
Speaker 3:there was there? What is your definition of meeting someone?
Speaker 1:My definition is better, the guy's definition right. So he came to Thailand, for example, stayed here for two months, stayed there whole months. The whole time he was here with one girl back home texting each other.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I would say it's. I would probably guess that the more common woman to guy scam is not that they've been together for two months, that they've maybe had a week together or less. I highly doubt that. I would imagine that there are some, but I would push back on the fact that these women have been with the guys for two plus months and now they're trying to that. These women have been with the guys for two plus months and now they're trying to scam them, Because most of the guys I know who do that they don't have to go that route to get money. They just send them the money. Like I know a few guys who do that, who come for a few months, have their girlfriend go back and then they just send them $5,000, $10,000 a month or something, because I mean, if you're living in America, it's only 200-300 bucks a month, so it's not that big of an issue. So I would imagine that most of those scams are for people who were together maybe a week or less.
Speaker 1:I'll give you my cousin what happened to him. So my cousin came to Pattaya I think it was like 2014 or 15. And immediately he fell in love with a girl. She was named Lek. I never met her, but he was talking so much about her so I remember him like, like right. And after he went back to his home I think two months no, one month later she sent him a pregnancy test and say listen, I'm pregnant, but I have to take care of your baby. He, he, was smart enough to say okay, no problem, I'm coming back next week to Thailand, we are doing a pregnancy test. If it's my baby, I will take care. If not, you pay me for the ticket and the rest of the money. Immediately. She disappeared, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean there are stories like that running the gamut. As long as there's been the ability to communicate with people over long distances I would imagine back when there was the telegraph system it would be like you know I am pregnant. Stop Send money, stop yeah, like, really like that. Stop calling me, stop Sorry.
Speaker 1:Have you scammed anyone before?
Speaker 2:Never, really, I never did that.
Speaker 3:Oh, I say yes, no, I'm a okay.
Speaker 2:I'll be here and when I'm I can't say I'm a when I'm talking to someone. I don't need to ask money from a guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but when he go home and sometimes you need some money when he go home, probably, in my opinion.
Speaker 2:yeah, okay, I work in a bar. Then they come here. They come for holiday, right, so they spend all money in holiday, of course, and they back to home me like they work, they earn. So, how I can do so. I have to earn my money also. That's why it's like if they back home I did not ask their money and Depends on like they would like to give me.
Speaker 1:One in how many girls in so she's the only one that never scammed anyone. You want to give factor ratio? Give factor ratio One in how many girls in Pattaya so she's the only one that never scammed anyone.
Speaker 3:Well, she said, if they want to give her money, what is the conversation where it goes? They want to just send you randomly.
Speaker 2:I'm not out for something like that. You're not making a story the way. Yeah, I'm not making story to ask money from people, if I hey give me 5,000.
Speaker 1:Yeah, not not do that.
Speaker 3:It's right below the line you know, like, like, oh man, I'm struggling struggling in Thailand you know, no one did Katia it's very hard to eat. Let me let me.
Speaker 4:Let me call my mom. It's like it's very hard to eat.
Speaker 3:Let me call my mom. No, no, don't call your mom, let me send you mine.
Speaker 2:This is how. I feel, I'm not doing that to ask money. You know what I mean. I'm just explaining what is going on but I'm not like, can you help me this?
Speaker 4:how, like, how people like to say but I'm not saying that after I say my story.
Speaker 2:But right is this, is this like, and I have, yeah, have guys like, yeah, like would like to save me money like you, want me to help you and After that I guess it like no, I can say I know, have you always said no, come on, be honest, depends on these guys who say they don't pay for sex and then they end up getting like a thousand baht for a 50 baht taxi ride.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's like me like. Oh yeah, you didn't pay for sex.
Speaker 3:You just paid for their ride home.
Speaker 4:It's like like why are?
Speaker 2:we we're splitting hairs, I gotta say like, for me it's just like if I'm doesn't know that guy really well I mean like not spent for long. It's like I'm not. I'm not, um. If they ask me to help me, I say no, you know. Only. Only I know them really well, like really close, like stay with them or know them for over years, like we know each other and we touch each other, so doesn't have the problem about like why you ask me money, why you do this, do that.
Speaker 1:Why you're Because there is already connection.
Speaker 2:Yeah, already connection with like over a year.
Speaker 1:We know each other for long then try to I think I guess okay, I'm then try this order. I think I guess okay, I'm not sure. But I think most of the guys that stayed with you more than one time when they came to Pattaya would say every week two or three times they want to stay with you when they go home.
Speaker 2:They will still text you, right, right but that doesn't mean like if they back home, I would like to ask them money after that because you don't mind if they offer.
Speaker 3:If they offer, check the instagram history search. Can you help?
Speaker 2:yeah, only I, I know them, that's it.
Speaker 2:But if I just see them Like for a few times, Like One week I'm not really Not really Let them help me Because you know, like I don't want to be the lady they are Thought. You know they always think I know like Everyone hear about Lady, lady Asmani, lady Bahasani, so I don't want to be like that thought. Okay, you know they always think I know like everyone here about lady, lady ask money. So I don't want to be like that, I don't want to ask many guys I know for money. But yeah, is they give me?
Speaker 2:I'm okay thank you, but only from who I really know, okay she has her sob story ready to go?
Speaker 3:Yeah, but probably.
Speaker 2:If I can say, I say no Because I want to work and earn money by my own. To be, honest, have you been scammed before?
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, oh really, mm-hmm, we can the the ex that I was just dating. We had known each other for over a year. We had dated. She's a Thai lady. Yeah, okay, we had dated for a couple months, just like I was in Bangkok. She was here, that's how it would come.
Speaker 3:Was in bangkok, she was here, probably that's how it come, um, but we would just go on dates, um, and then um, but we were talking and everything, uh, and then, um, I got uh denied a visa at the border a few months ago, so I decided to go home for the holidays and we started talking even more. Um, we had stopped talking for a few months, but then, after that we stopped, we started talking again. Um and uh, we were communicating, talking and we were like, okay, I'm gonna come back and you know, hey, let's give it uh, now that I'm gonna be doing the digital nomad, let's give it the old college try and let's uh see if it'll. You know, there's something real, not just like a short time thing, but like, let's give it a, let's see if there's something real, not just like a short time thing, but let's live together and try something.
Speaker 1:Oh, actually live together.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was staying with her for the last month and a half that I was here, okay, moved in with her right before Suncom, okay, and I'd send her money over the time. Is she a Gigi? No, she's a cisgender woman, okay, yeah, born woman, and I'd send her money over the time. Is she a Gigi or in any way? No, she's a cisgender woman, yeah, born woman. And so, yeah, we were dating for the last month and a half, I guess, for the last four months, whatever, and it was more like it was fine. But she kept, you know, doing the insisting without insisting, like that that maybe she like likes to do. You know, like they're all not asking but asking. You know that, like, and she she'd always bring up, like you know, doing this. I'm like, yes, but you know that, uh, over, uh, uh, coming back in philippines, andra, I spent a little bit too much money, so I had to wait until I got paid again and everything was going to be set. But she was like, oh, we're not doing enough, we're not spending enough, we're not all that. And I was like all right, my thing has always been have you ever seen it's a Wonderful Life?
Speaker 3:I'm sure I have. It's an old Christmas movie about this guy who decides to kill himself and this angel shows him what the world would be like without him. Okay, so I haven't seen it. A black and white movie from the 40s, I believe, one of the biggest Christmas movies ever. It's fun, really great movie. There's a woman that he likes and his whole thing is like oh, do you want the moon? I'll get a lasso and a rope and I'll lasso you the moon. So my thing has always been people always want the moon, but they don't want to wait for the lasso to be built.
Speaker 1:Okay, I get that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so I left about a week ago, and that's why I'm now over in Jomtien. Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:So you got her like after that you see her?
Speaker 3:No, I haven't seen her since I left.
Speaker 1:Oh Sorry, I left her place Monday and I went to put my app out. You lived together and then you just went to Jomtien.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I got an Airbnb and jump in but you said before.
Speaker 1:I'm not sharing the subject, but they just want to make sure. You said before you're more into trans woman, right, I'm 50, 50.
Speaker 3:I'm all about. I'm about the connection. If I connect with a trans woman, I'll pursue her. If I connect with a cisgender woman, I'll pursue her. You know that's. You know I could. I could go to a trans ladyboy bar and, you know, have fun with them and go to a club and have fun with a few cisgender women at the club and go away with four or five different numbers of trans or cisgender women and talk with them and see what happens. But no, for me it's all about the connection and what happens after. So there's no. The only specifics I put on a relationship, especially now, is more along the dominant-submissive thing that I'm interested in.
Speaker 1:So that's the only Submissive one.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So whether I'm dating a cisgender woman or a trans woman, they have to at least be in the dominant realm, okay.
Speaker 1:So if you are submissive, I guess you are the bottom, right, yeah. So when you are with a cis woman, well, I fucking hate to say cis woman, I'm sorry to all the world. Guys fuck it. When you are with a girl, right, she have a pussy, right yeah, but you are using a strap-on.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I have my own strap-on.
Speaker 1:Okay, and you fuck her sometimes also, I guess.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I still have a dick that works yeah.
Speaker 1:I know it's a weird question. I just try to understand it because I've never been in that position, so I really don't know what's going on.
Speaker 3:Like with my ex that I just left. That was purely a vanilla relationship. Okay, there was no domination submission thing at all, it was a purely vanilla. Uh, I was the quote unquote normal man role, she was the quote unquote normal feminine role. Uh, she did, she knew. Uh, she knew vaguely about my domination submission interest, but uh, we didn't really get into it. Um, so, we never, we, we never went into that area.
Speaker 1:So it depends on the woman's relationship, and you can still be in a relationship without that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but I'm actively pursuing the domination submission relationship Okay, it's commonly called FLR. Female-led relationship Okay, that's the type. If you see my profile on any dating app, you'll see it has that somewhere in the profile. That that's what I'm looking for.
Speaker 1:Have you tried the BDSM clubs here in Pathe?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm a part of a group in Bangkok.
Speaker 1:No, no, I mean here in Pathe. Yeah, I've been to Castle.
Speaker 3:That was back in. I haven't been since 2019. Do you know the Castle?
Speaker 2:Have you heard about it?
Speaker 1:What the castle? The castle, so it's a club in Third Road, just in front of the hospital.
Speaker 3:Uh-huh Right, yeah, it's usually you'll. Usually it's very hard to see because they don't have any lights.
Speaker 1:They keep it very dark. You have to pay, I think $1,000, to get inside, just to get inside. I don't know what it costs now.
Speaker 3:The last time I went was 2019.
Speaker 1:I don't know what it costs now I spoke with someone, with one of my other friends. He said it's 1000 just to get inside, and then there are women and trans women over there and I guess some men also that you have to set the price with them, and then they will do. Do you know what BDSM means?
Speaker 2:I can't say I'm here about it, but I don't know where is it.
Speaker 1:I think we have the perfect guest.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because for me I can't say I can say I have experience with Tristan and just me, and with me ladyboy and with a guy, like two ladyboys and guys, two ladyboys with a guy and me lady with a guy. But I'm lady boy, a lady with me. We are.
Speaker 1:You're not fucking together. No, no, both of you fucking the man. Yeah, with the man.
Speaker 2:So for me I prefer to have with the man, Okay, and I also know how about people who?
Speaker 1:have sex. So BDSM is not only about sex.
Speaker 2:Not about sex, yeah.
Speaker 1:No, it can be about sex.
Speaker 3:Specifically it stands for Bondage, discipline, domination, submission, and you know there's all levels. But you know, if you think of like the way I explain it To a lot of people in Asia as people who don't know about it, is it's a real Fifty Shades of Grey.
Speaker 1:Have you seen the movie Fifty Shades of Grey?
Speaker 3:No, it's all about being restrained. It's all about being whipped, spanked, choked, latex.
Speaker 1:It's not only about the pain, by the way. It's mostly about, as you said, said, feeling that you are powerless right, it's, it's a power play, control.
Speaker 3:There's Different abuse. There's mental, physical. I'm more, much more, on the mental, verbal side than the physical, but I do like the physical as well. But yeah, it's really all about you know. But yeah, it's really all about you know, letting the other person take control and giving them that, that power to do whatever they want within the guidelines of what you have talked about before. A lot of people think you, just you, just you just give it up and they can do whatever they want. That's that's not what it is. There is clearly defined parameters in any real BDSM relationship For those listening. If they try to act like there's no rules, do not go with them. They're not a real proponent of it. Sounds like they all talk about experience.
Speaker 4:It's a big thing in my community.
Speaker 3:Like I said, I'm part of the bangkok community. Um, I'm not going to shout them out because I don't know they want to be shouted out, but, uh, there's a specific group that we're a part of and it's a big thing. Talking about consent, the point is you're being consensual with everything you do and there will be people you will meet who will try to act like that because they have control that you don't get consent, which is not how it works.
Speaker 1:I want to ask you because I've never been involved in that scene. So, let's say, I'm going to have a session with the person right?
Speaker 3:So before that we set the rules, like, I want to be this part and I don't want you to do this to me, so you'll have what's called uh hard, uh hard nose, soft nose, uh hard nose is like we don't even talk about it, touch it, don't even get near it. Like for me is uh branding? Uh, because what is branding? Branding like you know, uh, you get branded like oh yeah, um, no. So branding is a big one Tattoos, you know, jewish and everything. So that's a big thing. For me is no branding. Soft stuff is like being whipped, because my soft is like a 1 to 10 threshold, probably like a 6 or 7. But depending on where I can go over. But then there's safe words. So, for instance, my safe words are green, yellow, red, green, good to go red, stop automatically, yellow, slow down or do something a little bit different. So that's all discussed prior to doing anything so is this like?
Speaker 2:is this thing? Is this like okay, I know it's Thailand, so others, how about other countries?
Speaker 4:it's just like okay, I know it's hot in Thailand, yeah right, oh, yeah, so otter how about other country?
Speaker 2:about? You know, it's like half otter.
Speaker 1:You want to compare, like the scene in Thailand, to, let's say, the US.
Speaker 2:No, no, I mean like how many? Like it's half the clubs like this you're right, so it's some.
Speaker 4:It's not only clubs, it's like the clubs, like this. You're right, so is it some some?
Speaker 2:Community in Thailand. Right, but Like have somewhere also yeah.
Speaker 3:Yep, like you can find it probably in most major cities. You'll find at least one club Shanghai.
Speaker 1:Shanghai has a club.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Shanghai has a club. Yeah, I don't know if there's a club, I don't know why there hasn't been, but yeah, nice, shanghai has a club. Manila has a club. Pretty sure, there's one in Ho Chi Minh and one in Bali. Now, the actual intensity of the club varies. Very strong community, yeah, and the the sizes, but a lot of it will just be based around the community and there's a big website. If anyone's interested, you go to FetLife, f-e-t-l-i-f-e, fetlifecom. It's a big fetish community that that there's communities. You can join groups, you can join questions answered at people and there'll pretty much be a community in every major country that you can meet with people called munches. Where you can, they'll have. For instance, there's a monthly munch in Thailand. So if you go on FetLife you'll see the Thailand group. You can, if you're interested, you can join the group. It's just a gathering of the people who talk about their interests.
Speaker 1:The munchies.
Speaker 3:They gather the munchies is a gathering. Basically it's like a monthly. For instance, the Thailand group does a monthly gathering. Okay, so it's a great way to connect with people in the scene. Talk about your interests without any type of of impunity or about insulting or anything. Okay, like a lot of people aren't as out as me, like, my family and friends know all about my trans interest. They know an extent of my submission interest, yeah, but you know it's not like I wouldn't, like I'm not going to talk to my dad about a session I just had with a dominatrix.
Speaker 1:I think you would speak it out with with your friends about it, not because you're shy about it.
Speaker 3:I think it's very personal it's just not a conversation that I'm not going to talk about much sex with my friends, because there's really no reason to. You know, like I'm not going to like, especially with the ones who are married. It's like they're talking about their sex life. It's like, well, I know who the girl is, so, uh, I've been in the wedding parties for almost all of them, so, um, so, yeah, you know, you don't, yeah, you know your close friends that you have that, like that, really, like most of our friends I've known for 10 plus years at this point, um, they know all my interests but I don't have like full-on sex talks with them.
Speaker 3:Like I do with the community in Thailand or the community in Atlanta.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's like you don't have to explain what you like.
Speaker 2:Yeah into or what is your favorite thing to do. You don't have to explain to everyone.
Speaker 1:Not everyone, but I think he said something right before, right now, after he's been into a vanilla relationship. I think the next time you meet a person that you might be interested in going into a relationship, you'll be much more clear about that and you will actually look for someone that does kind of into it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that is the idea and I try to put it out there to begin with. But again, it requires the right person, especially in Asia, where it's not as widespread as it is in other Western?
Speaker 1:Yeah, but there are no foreigners here, yeah, and you're not only interested in Asians, in Asian people, right?
Speaker 3:Yeah, but even the community for dominant women, submissive men, is small in general. Really, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:I thought this was macho.
Speaker 3:No, well, so there is in the financial sexual sphere. The actual women who want a real relationship in that sphere is a lot smaller than the women who want a submissive relationship with dominant men. Yeah, just because of you know society and history and everything, yeah, so, yeah. So, for instance, I've known a lot of dominatrixes who they've been doing the job for years but they're not interested in, like, the actual romantic relationship, part of it. Okay, they want a more romantic relationship and then they still do their vanilla.
Speaker 1:It's a job for them yeah.
Speaker 3:And if they are in a relationship, they just don't do the sex part. Most of them don't do the sex part anyway, unless the most they do is pegging. Okay, do you know what pegging is Pegging? Is it pegging Strap-on?
Speaker 1:Strap-on. A lady will wear a strap-on.
Speaker 2:Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then she will fuck the man. Okay, I understand, you don't need a strap-on, but I mean for a lady.
Speaker 1:I know that I started.
Speaker 3:when I hit puberty I started watching porn. Femme dom porn was the most appealing to me, and then I got into pegging. And then once I was like I got into pegging I was like, oh well, if the woman looks amazing and has a real dick, then they can actually feel it more than the dildo. I was like that's a logical move over. So that kind of started my trans interest.
Speaker 1:And you've been with men also right over.
Speaker 3:So that kind of started my trans interest. And you've been with men also, right, yeah, uh, in like two or three, um, yeah, uh, men are not my general sexual interest. Uh, because I'm very specific in my male attraction. Uh, you have to be very twinkish or a very feminine type man and then you have to be also dominant top, which most twinks and femme men are not. So I've only been with her. I think I'm only two at the moment. I think maybe a third of us mostly been two and they were like once or twice, they weren't like anything.
Speaker 1:It's also here especially, but it's a thin line between a femme boy and we spoke about it a femme boy and a lady boy. It's a very thin line, yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean, like I said, for me it's always I have. I know whether or not I'm attracted to you within the first five seconds. Okay, if I'm not attracted to you immediately, I'm never going to become attracted to you.
Speaker 1:It's funny. It's funny that you said that, because you said you're all about the connection. Connection takes longer than five seconds.
Speaker 3:No immediate connection Immediate.
Speaker 1:You mean All my connections are immediate? Okay, yeah.
Speaker 3:But then they so.
Speaker 4:So it's based more on the looks, so I have a, so there's a. There's two thresholds?
Speaker 3:Yeah, there's the immediate threshold where, if I see you and the first whatever seconds of us meeting, I'm interested in you or not. It's, there's. No, there's never been a Trans woman or man where I didn't immediately find them attractive, wanting to talk to them, who I wanted to talk to attract to later on. It's never happened in my 37 years of living where if I didn't know immediately nothing's going to happen. Then there's a second threshold where that connection actually comes after that, where, now that we're talking, dancing, connecting, that's where the rest of the intimacy comes from it's like you see someone and you feel attracted with like type type of people.
Speaker 3:You mean physical connection like like type type of physical connection, it can be, yeah, yeah, can be a physical connection could be uh could be just how they're uh, how they're uh moving, how they're looking, how they're acting, um, there could be any type of uh, whatever they're doing within that moment, um, that I just uh, that I just spark, spark to, and then that's it and it's off to the races. That I'll usually go up and talk to that person because I don't I'm not shy and I'm confident, so I'll just yeah, hey, I find you attractive.
Speaker 2:I want to talk to you more.
Speaker 1:The person have like body language or you know like movement you saw them and you like oh think about it like that okay, you go to a club yeah, and you see some guy that dances very well. Yeah, oh, he dances well. I want to dance with him, right?
Speaker 3:that's what he means immediate connection, that's part of it, yeah and yeah, and then, like it could be how they look, could be how they look, could be how they move, could be. You know, I heard them having a conversation about something and I was like, hey, that was. Yeah, I like the sound of their voice or whatever. But, like I said, it's always that very quick, immediate thing and if it doesn't, if it's not that immediate, it's never going to change.
Speaker 1:And how do you find like there is a bit of language barrier here in Thailand? Right, it's not a native language and, compared to the Philippines, the Thai don't speak very well yeah, you know, they don't understand most of the things that, like the terms that you normally use, you have to really explain them in order to them to understand. Have you find it difficult to get more real connections here in Thailand with the Thais?
Speaker 3:Well, I usually just pull down my shorts and show them my ass, and then they get it.
Speaker 2:Take it easy.
Speaker 3:Learn from the master. It's going to depend on the person. Some of them are going to be able to hold a conversation, some of them are not. But even if they're not able to hold a conversation, I dated a woman in China for about eight months. Pretty much 90% of our relationship was through WeChat. So in translation yeah, it was actually funny.
Speaker 1:We? Um. I don't have wechat so I don't know the features. It's yeah, it's just.
Speaker 3:It's just a chinese version of whatsapp yeah, um, so, uh, so we did it and we did for about eight months and, uh, like the 90 percent of our conversation was through wechat because she couldn't speak english. Uh, it was actually funny. Um, I had a buddy who was learning Chinese, who went to school, and then he joined my teaching company.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, he was British.
Speaker 3:I hooked him up with her assistant and then she would pay for all four of us to go on trips and then we would use him as a translator for the conversation. He would just facilitate the conversation because his Chinese was pretty good. It was probably 60% to 70% fluent in Chinese.
Speaker 1:That's enough to a whole conversation, yeah.
Speaker 3:So he would be facilitating the conversation and her assistant was probably 30% or 40%. So I hooked him up with her. And so my girlfriend, who just wanted to have a social group she would just pay for everyone because she was rich and so he would be translating like right up until me, and her gave us the eyes and was like alright, now it's time for the bedroom stuff and we don't need him.
Speaker 1:I found it that when I'm with my wife and I really want to have some deep conversation, even she my wife can speak decent English. Okay, let's say better than 80% of the ties that you will meet. But when I want to have a real deep conversation or talk about something serious, I also turn to the translator, because sometimes I don't want to explain every term that I use. If I really want to talk about something, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:And you also want to make sure that the points are getting across. Yeah, because even if someone is pretty decent in speaking whatever language, there could always be a mistake, and that mistake could be catastrophic. Yeah, one word could mean something very different, right, I'm pretty sure. Like, for instance, bomb in Polish is a cuss word, bomb, bomb Like B-O-M.
Speaker 1:Bomb, bomb. I never heard this cuss word.
Speaker 3:Yeah, okay um, but obviously, if you say, like most people, you think bomb, you think of a explosive device, um, so uh, very interesting to talk to a polish woman like yeah, yeah, so yeah, just the uh dealing with translation issues is just a uh, just a part of traveling um and yeah, but traveling is something like it's one thing, but getting into a serious relationship with a person without good communication like you, you miss 80% of the relationship, I think.
Speaker 3:I mean, if you're putting it depends on what you're putting the stock into. If you're putting stock into the emotional verbal connection, then yeah, you don't go there normally in your relationships.
Speaker 1:I do, but it's not what.
Speaker 3:I'm putting emphasis on, even if she is a let's say, she has 80, 90% English. What I'm putting our emphasis on in our relationship is what we're connecting, on what we're able to. Can me and her go to the club and have a good couple hours? Can me and her stay at home and watch a movie and not talk and just cuddle and watch a movie? Can me and her go to a restaurant have fun conversation about the old guy walking down the street who can't pull his shorts up? If there's a deep, intimate conversation that can follow, that cool. But as long as there's something to put the relationship on, that's what, in my opinion. That's what matters. It doesn't have to be. A lot of people, I think, put too much emphasis on having deep conversations with someone.
Speaker 1:I do. This is why I'm kind of surprised, because for me it was always like that. It's very important to me when I have a connection, even with the friends, right. Even when I met you, we had some deep conversations also, right? So I don't know, this is my stance. I'm very shocked sometimes to hear that some relationship never goes this route, you know.
Speaker 3:And maybe it's my job. I mean, I'm I'm speaking with uh for 20 plus hours of the week. I'm speaking with, uh, different levels of english, uh, uh, english, uh, fluency with people all over the world, uh, and you know we can have conversations, but on my side it's, you know, it's very superficial for the most part, because, for me, I'm focused solely on improving their English. I'm focused on giving them feedback, I'm focused on facilitating their English needs, which is usually professional. So I'm trying to help them get to where they want to be. Them get to where they want to be. Yeah, um, so maybe it comes just from that, with the fact that, like I can have a, I can have a general conversation with anyone. Whether it's deep or not, for me doesn't have, doesn't really matter, okay I can say like um I'm a person like if I'm talking in a deep conversation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I'm not really like translate to to explain because, like yeah, when you, when you're talking in a deep conversation, you use a lot with emotional to talk, it's very important, More than like if you're writing something with unemotional, it's just feeling like yeah, it's feeling like like this yeah, it's feeling like this is like um doesn't feeling with this conversation and so what is this? What is this like you mean? What do you mean is this? Is it mean good or bad?
Speaker 1:so you would? You would rather, for example, struggle a bit with the conversation, but still get the point without using translation right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like for me, I'm Thai, but, right, I can talk in a deep conversation, but he doesn't care.
Speaker 1:Like I say to him, I can't speak English and I'm not understand English, so just talk to me just say to me, and if there is a word you don't understand, you will ask what do you mean, right, yeah?
Speaker 2:but you know what? What that guy did to me? He just text, you know, writing on the translator and let this speak yeah, translate speak to thai and I feel like what I tell you already to speak to me. Talk to me, but you use translate.
Speaker 1:Don't give you enough credit. You think you're already. Oh, she's so stupid she will not understand what I'm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and and it and it's still like well, you translate is not a good way to.
Speaker 4:Makes it very superficial.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not always a good way to talk in a deep conversation. For me, really, it was part of the issue.
Speaker 3:I think with my ex. Her English wasn't that good, she's probably 30, 40%. Okay, her English wasn't that good, she's probably 30, 40%. But one of her issues was her favorite mode of expressing her disappointment or anger or whatever was a silent treatment, which to me doesn't work. I hate the fact that if you go into a silent treatment, I'm going to be really pissed off because I don't think it benefits any part of whatever we're trying to do. I hate the fact that if you go into the silent treatment, I'm going to be really pissed off Because I don't think it benefits any part of whatever we're trying to do. You know the meme about it.
Speaker 1:There is a meme that one lady you see the lady and she says, okay, I will not speak with him the whole day because he did to me.
Speaker 4:X and.
Speaker 1:Y and you see the man is just having fun. Wow, the best day of my life.
Speaker 3:He's not even aware that she's not speaking to him. He just have his own quiet. You know, yeah, yeah, it's even stuff like that. Yeah, they're not in a relationship, uh, but yeah, so, uh like uh, that's that's the issue, that, uh, that's where conversation for me needs to happen, uh, where, um, uh like I came home drunk at like 5 or 6 am and she didn't express to me that she didn't like that. She just didn't talk to me for like the next 12 hours of the day and I was like I kept asking hey, what's up? What are we doing for lunch? What's? What's going on?
Speaker 3:nothing so yeah, like I pissed me off and then that was the beginning of the end, because I was like I'm gonna be drinking and that's it.
Speaker 2:I'm not I'm not cheating I'm not abusive and I'm not yelling like that you know. You know what the question is like when, when guy asks any question of food lunch, breakfast or dinner, whatever we are like when you ask lady Thai, lady like to answer when the guy asked lady like would you like to eat, and lady would like to say whatever you know, you know what I mean that's bullshit, because most of Thai ladies don't even like foreign food so I would take her to a pasta place or whatever, and she would say oh no, I don't eat that.
Speaker 3:And to be fair, I think that's a universal woman thing. They all like to say whatever and then you make a pick and they're like that's not what I want.
Speaker 1:I know many foreigners that don't like to eat Thai food. Okay, because it's too spicy or they don't like the ingredients. I love spicy food. I also.
Speaker 2:Right Me also. I don't like spicy food, you don't like spicy food.
Speaker 1:I don't like spicy food. Do you prefer Thai food or foreign food?
Speaker 2:If I prefer Thai food with non-chili?
Speaker 1:Okay, but still I'm sure if I would take you to a place that serves I don't know Lebanese cuisine you'd say what the fuck am I eating?
Speaker 2:I?
Speaker 4:don't want to eat that.
Speaker 1:That's not tasty for for me not because the Lebanese cuisine is not good, just because you don't like it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then you what? Why do you say whatever?
Speaker 3:Yeah, there's a ringing buffet, like parallel walking street. By the way, which one? I don't college? I think it says already about fail. I don't know what's called.
Speaker 1:There is a really good restaurant that we've gone there, I think, three, two times a week at least me and my friend. You know which one I'm talking about. It's called Al Iwan. It's near the VC hotel, the best Arab restaurant you can find, and I tried most of them if you go on a Friday or weekend, I'll join you.
Speaker 1:Obviously I can't do Monday or Thursday, but I'll join you on the weekend I'm telling you, as a person that comes from a country, that we have a lot of genuine Arab food. It's 100% authentic Sure.
Speaker 3:It's amazing, I eat everything.
Speaker 1:It's called Aliwan. It's on the second road on the corner of Soy BC. It's really good, nice yeah. Before you said something that I wanted to ask. You said that last time they denied your visa right and you had to go back home. Yeah, what is your visa situation right now?
Speaker 3:I am on a visa on arrival.
Speaker 1:So that gives me how long to this visa, which gave you 60 days 60 days.
Speaker 3:I could extend it for 30, which I'll have to do in about two and a half weeks.
Speaker 1:Ah, it's very easy. You just go to Jumdien and 1,900 baht, and that's it.
Speaker 3:The problem was last year I had a job and the problem was the work visa was taking too long. Okay Well, my documents took too long back home and then the work visa was taking too long, so I had to do one more visa run. So I went to Vietnam for the weekend and I came back and they denied me because they said that I had done too many visa runs.
Speaker 1:And what would you do next time they would tell you no? Would you find another country to be in, or you would think about changing your visa.
Speaker 3:Well, I mean, I doubt they would do it again, but my current plan is to be sticking with the digital nomading, where I'll just be following the visas.
Speaker 1:So so you're not necessarily staying in Thailand what my plan is.
Speaker 3:I'll do the 90 days, probably go somewhere for a month or two and I'll come back for another 90 days and then because I, one of my good buddies, should be back sometime late in the year, so I don't want to get denied before he comes back. Okay, so I'm thinking about going to Bali or Malaysia, or, if I can figure out how to afford Korea, I might do Korea. What about the Philippines? I just came from the Philippines. Okay, I did a month in the Philippines over March. You liked it? Yeah, it was fun. Manila was alright. I didn't like Cebu as much.
Speaker 1:you're the only person that told me that normally people tell me stay away from Manila, go to Cebu. Cebu is just boring.
Speaker 3:There's very little nightlife. There's some, and I found actually an hotel that was right next to a club that I did pretty well at, but it's very little nightlife. And also I've never seen the city as big as Cebu, that has as crappy as Wi-Fi and I really have Wi-Fi. I need good Wi-Fi because I'm doing all types of video conferencing throughout the day, so I need really good Wi-Fi.
Speaker 1:Have you been to Angeles I?
Speaker 3:went to Angeles for a week.
Speaker 1:Cheat. Was it cheat? Has everyone said this?
Speaker 3:So it is very much like a very, very, very poor man's walking street bataya. Okay, with random bars outside of the walking street. Yeah, um, but like, if you're going there expecting bataya, that's your own fault. Uh, I, I did, I do my research and I talk to people and they're like, um, uh. But there are people who think like they're going there and they're like, oh, it's bataya, it's bataya, it is not Pattaya. It is not Pattaya. It is much smaller, it's a little bit more expensive but, like I said, I had fun.
Speaker 3:What I would do is I would just meet a couple guys. We'd go to a club, buy a bottle, hang out, talk to girls and go to some other bars, talk to some trans women. Yeah, it depends on what you want out of it. Like our friend Michelle, michelle did not like it at all. Oh, you mean we do that? No, he went with another friend, oh, so he said he didn't like it at all. They were supposed to spend a few days, but he only spent like one or two and then went back to Manila because he didn't like it at all, but because, yeah, it is very much a, like I said, it's a poor man, very, very, very, very, very poor man's Papilla that is, can be rife with some shady areas, but you can find cities similar to Pattaya in Thailand.
Speaker 1:Actually, right, you don't have to go outside of Thailand. If you get sick of Pattaya, you can go to other cities here and find similar.
Speaker 3:I recommend Waheen for people who want a quieter Pattaya without really the club life, but still a very fun place that's very cheap.
Speaker 2:You want to go there? Yeah, I'd never be there.
Speaker 3:You should. Very good beaches, not a lot of people. If you go as any guy under 50, you'll be like the belt of the ball, okay.
Speaker 1:So a lot of competition.
Speaker 3:It's like 90% guys over 50. But yeah, it's a lot of fun. The beaches are great. Usually, literally what you do is you go to the different walking not walking streets, but you go to different bar streets. Then you go to the one or two late night clubs that are open to one or two and then you just go drink on the beach. So you just find a girl, you take her to the beach and you go drink on the beach until sunrise. Sounds like fun. It's great. I love Wahine. For those who haven't been, I would recommend Wahine.
Speaker 4:Great.
Speaker 1:Well, greg, we came to the one hour mark, so that's it for this podcast. Yeah, I want to thank you for joining us yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 3:We might do another podcast together.
Speaker 1:Sometimes, people always want seconds. Yeah, I want to thank our listeners. You can always message us through our email, which is mytaiwifepod at gmailcom, and you can send us actually direct messages through Spotify. Right now, it's a new feature over there. Pim anything you want to say.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you so much, listeners. Thank you for listening.
Speaker 1:We have more than one.
Speaker 2:We're listeners and thank you, it's my grandma. Thank you, thank you for case and say I'm for this time. This is like my four, four episode, so thank you so much for support us and I'm still waiting for your feedback, any comments from you guys, and we'd like to enjoy this episode.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much. By the way, if someone wants to support us financially, go for it. We will do all the scamming that's needed to get your money. So, you can find our links, how you can pay us.
Speaker 3:I knew they'd be asking for money eventually.
Speaker 1:How much do?
Speaker 3:you pay us, Greg. I mean, it depends on the bedrooms right there.
Speaker 1:Greg, any closing words from you?
Speaker 3:No, I appreciate you having me on. For those who love to travel, get out there. Just make sure that you do your research and don't act like assholes when you come here. It's becoming an epidemic.
Speaker 1:This can really be a whole episode talking about that, because the things that went in the last month in Thailand, the things that foreigners do Be respectful- act like. Because the things that went in the last month in Thailand, the things that foreigners do, yeah, Be respectful.
Speaker 3:Act like you're not better than everyone, because everyone is dealing with their own stuff and has to live their own life. So be respectful and to everyone, locals and foreigners, international, whoever you go, wherever you are.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just love each other. Yes, love each other. Yeah, love each other. Thank you.
Speaker 4:Thank you very much. Thank you very much. See you next time.
Speaker 2:See you soon. Bye-bye.